The Community You Build

Being on Bookstagram for the past four years as well as Booktok, I have come to realize a lot of truths, half truths and lies. But one thing that always remains, is the community you build. Let’s call it your circle for easy reference. Now this is going to be long and kinda drawn out, but give me the time to explain, and you’ll see my point. 

This circle is the people you know you can go to, with zero judgement, and they will be there. They will listen to you complain, they will laugh and cry with you, you’ll share book recommendations, you will give opinions on edits, you’ll snack or drink on FaceTime or Discord or Zoom with them and you even may occasionally send them the lewds before they get sent to your special someone. 

These circles are special. They are your tribe essentially. And when you find your tribe, you can feel it click. Now, not to say if you are in a circle and only you and like one or two other people click that you have to stay in that circle, but they become your circle. I know. It sounds confusing and honestly if I could draw it out or show pictures I totally would. 

Let me trying explaining it this way okay?

There is you. And let’s say you join a street team, or rep for a brand, or anything like that—you get added into a group chat. In this group chat you will find a plethora of people, and while you all chit chat and laugh and everything, there may be 1-5 people you like REALLY click with. I’m talking, out of the group chat, DMing on the side, maybe even texting. This is the start of your group. 

You still with me? Okay good. 

Now fast forward, you’ve been doing this for a while, you got a million fucking group chats, cause let’s face it—that happens, and you have slowly started to merge your circle with these new people you have connected with.  Chances are, some of them may not get along and that’s okay too. But you still have your individual connections with these people. 

Still following? Awesome. 

This is your formation of your circle. This is your community. And that community via your circle, expands. Now you may not be close with everyone in that community, but you all share common ground. Books, food, movies, etc. 

Now let’s get to the root of why I am even talking about community okay?

Community in the book space operates a little different, we aren’t perfect and sometimes it feels like everyday there is a new drama that seems to be circulating but that isn’t the case all the time. Now, we all know we are connected by a love of books. With this comes the love of book boxes and merch companies. Plus, we love finding new to us authors and finding new book events. 

But how do we find these things? That is an easy answer. Word of mouth. And honestly, word of mouth is so huge in this community. We get all sorts of info and are able to make decisions based off of it. Authors can find their dream PA. Readers can find book events, new authors, new books, etc. Voice actors get opportunities to voice characters they love. Cover models can get the chance to be on a book cover. 

The list is endless. But that happens because word of mouth is huge. Marketing wise, probably one of the most effective and efficient tools. 

Now I’m sure you are saying, “Okay what’s the downside of word of mouth?”

I’ve already mentioned it. Drama. 

But it isn’t just drama. Its mean girls, one sided talk, and even speaking without facts or proof. 

In this community of books, we are a giant community with MANY smaller communities and there has been an increasing “trend” of fuck around and find out, as well as audacity and a lot of chiming in. While we are a community, the smaller communities inside of it still need to be respected and not talked over. There are certain things that not everyone can speak on for one reason or another, and by trying to talk over those smaller communities, we are burying their voice and their knowledge. 

We are in a new age so to speak, where people’s opinion becomes gold once they hit a certain amount of “followers”. And while some of these people behind these accounts are good and genuine people, you do have the occasional rotten apple. And as the saying goes, one rotten apple can spoil the bunch. 

I have seen some accounts with these large numbers weaponize that follower count and absolutely attack, and beat down others. I have seen some cancel people over a difference of opinion on a genre in a book, or if a trope isn’t their thing. 

(Now I’m not going to get into cancel culture cause we would be here for forever, and this isn’t me saying that some people shouldn’t get cancelled either, but some things people try to cancel others over, while still supporting known problematic people, that deserves another look at and not blind following because of a follower count.)

But this is why I say community is important. Your smaller communities that you build with and are involved with, are so important because when you have like minded people around you, and people who stand on what they say, and know when to be quiet—that is golden. It allows these negative aspects no room to flourish and also can shut down mean girl behavior quickly. That community can be the guiding hand to help you learn. And I don’t just mean learn about new events or books or authors — but learn about new communities. Communities that maybe you haven’t seen, or even know of. Maybe a community that gives to a charity you would love to give to. Maybe a community that helps, not necessarily financially, but emotionally. Maybe a community that has been overlooked too many times. 

So that’s why I have gone on this long rant about community. We all share a love of books. We all love to gush about books and authors and special editions and which events we are going to, not to just support authors but to meet our community. 

And that’s because at the end of it all, community matters. People matter. And yes there are shitty fucking people out there, and you may have moments you feel small or pushed out, but if you have your community—you will be helped up. You will not be alone. You will always have those people who will send that, “I’m just checking in on you”, or will send you morning reels, or will tag you in challenges or reviews. 

(And if you haven’t found them yet, you will and it’ll just click—trust me on this)

So that’s all I got for you for now. 

All that’s left to be said is I love my community, and the communities I am apart of. 

Especially my Saints of Sorrow, Library of Angels community. Cult Mama took a chance on me almost four years ago, and I am so grateful for her and all the Saints/Angels. 

(And yes, I know this sounds like a goodbye, but it isn’t — can’t get rid of me that easily)

Just remember to stay kind, and to love your communities.