In Defense of Dark Romance: Dark Romance As An Antidote To Despair

Dearest feral reader,  

There is once again recent drama surfacing in the bookish community. And so naturally, once again, there is a spotlight and more eyes upon the infamous subgenre of dark romance, specifically. 

More eyes = more discourse. But perhaps what we need is not more, but better discourse. 

And as always, when topics of romance and dark romance come up, people are rushing to condemn women’s enjoyment of the genre, the ways it is problematic, useless, or in other terms, dispensable. They write off what they can’t understand. 

I see it differently. I see dark romance as a singular and necessary corner of the literary world. It holds a critical role in the psychic undoing of harm. 

I read extensively and almost exclusively Dark Romance, so the subgenre is something I’m both well-versed in, and extremely passionate about. I believe it is where complex, morally grey, but supremely human characters get to be unleashed. Set free within the confines of the page. And when they are, they often reflect the darkest corners of our hearts in the process. 

I think that Romance as a whole, and specifically Dark Romance, has the capacity to be deeply healing. Submission, deep desire, forbidden yearning. There is room for these components of the human experience here. There is room for the parts of ourselves we are taught to suppress, question, or keep hidden in the dark.  

Dark romance, when done well, with intention and care—can be deeply healing. 

For some readers, the emotional intensity so often found within dark romance can in and of itself be therapeutic. When everyday life feels monotonous or emotionally muted, picking up a spicy novel filled with heightened stakes can provide an outlet for feelings that have nowhere else to go. We can hop off racetrack and rest for a spell. We can wander off into the shadows. 

Perhaps we have been trained to only seek the light, when in the dark, our wildest fantasies can come out to play. 

Dark romance offers us a reclaiming—of our bodies, of sexual play and liberation, physical pleasure and joy, and exploration of taboo and kink, all within the comfort and privacy of our own living room. 

Crying over a character’s death, feeling anger at an antagonist, or becoming emotionally invested in a main character's survival can release emotions that have been held inside for too long. Therein, the dark romance reading experience can pave the way for deepened, and perhaps more honest, emotional exploration. Therapy, for only $17.99 per paperback. (Plus tax).  

Dark romance often explores the idea of being loved despite one's darkest moments. Many stories within the genre feature characters who are damaged, rejected, misunderstood, carrying heavy baggage, or invisible emotional wounds. Morally grey, if you will. 

Watching such initially unloveable characters find love and true connection can be more than reassuring. It can be hope-inducing. For it creates realism within the fantasy that being complicated does not automatically make someone unworthy of love. It gives permission, where often there is none. It lends trust, that even the most unloveable aspects of ourselves could be just right, for the right person. 

A prominent theme in my own dark romance book is trust, namely self-trust. And one of my main character’s cardinal lessons in the story is to practice trust. She does this by thinking less, and feeling more. Leaning into her own sense of intuition. 

For those of us who are survivors of intimate partner abuse and/or assault, dark romance may also help us to rewrite our story. Provide safety where there was fear. Give an escape route, where there was only a solid wall.* 

Through reading dark romance, we can experience a different internal narrative, and thereby undo some of the harm we experienced. We get to see a different outcome for a character, and imagine it for ourselves, while being held tight with our index finger in our Kindle strap. 

Dark romance provides a unique safe, contained, and most importantly, “put-downable” space for survivors of abuse to process and explore complex power dynamics and feel validation and normalization in their pain. 

It can also provide a sense of safe, guilt-free catharsis—uncovering an opportunity for further healing and introspection around intense emotions, such as grief, possession, obsessive love, and revenge/retribution. 

And a safe psychological space can be just as important as a safe physical one. For this reason alone, dark romance will always have a hold on my heart. 

Because perhaps the point isn’t that darkness is good, or that every dark romance story is healthy simply because it exists.  

It’s that there is inherent value in having a consistent place where darkness can be examined, explored, and felt without consequence. A place where fiction gets to remain purely fiction, while still telling us something potent and truthful about ourselves.  

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If you’re curious about my debut dark romance with a psychological thriller twist, IN YOUR HEAD, please click the Linktree in my bio on my socials (@authorkhollow). It’s available on Amazon and direct through my Shopify storefront, and will be coming soon as an audiobook, exclusively to Audible. 

with all the love in the world, 

K.