The Parasocial Playlist: Parasocial Behavior In the Book Community
TW: Brief discussion of Self-harm threats and online harassment.
As a member of many online fandoms—from the comics, anime, to various music fandoms—the atmosphere of online discourse and community interactions has reached a level of intensity that you can feel from outside your computer screen. Now I’ll be frank with you, the discourse around online social boundaries has been around far before most of us even knew what dial-up was, but things have grown intense these past decades. While some have amazing experiences within the online spaces, the virtual ecosystem has conflated into a larger monster we all have seen lurk the motherboard.
Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a, “I-hate-the-internet message,” or a,“the agendas that be,” speech, but a gentle call in for us to strengthen our community.
This idea of fandom safety first came to me when thinking about why authors, illustrators, and various artists chose to present themselves under aliases or false identities. I remember the first-time reading manga and wondered why authors used an illustration as their profile picture—especially as someone who was originally accustomed to the black turtleneck headshots every author did in traditional publishing.
Was it purely stylistic? A fun tongue-in-cheek approach in characterizing themselves for their audiences to learn about them?
While I’m pretty sure these are some of the motivations, the largest motivator is that these creatives gain a safeguard between the complex ecosystem of fame. Desires for anonymity various reasons ranging from them just wanting a normal life outside of their career or safety precautions, but the biggest motivator is to avoid the biggest issue that arises with fandom culture—parasocial relationships and interactions.
Like manga artists, many authors and influencers within the book space endure unnerving behaviors from peers and fans alike. The falsehoods of interpersonal relationships creates a toxic environment of entitlement people with too much dip on their chip. It’s normal to seek connectivity and discourse to afford our community growth, but the existence of parasocial interactions creates an unhealthy environment for everyone.
So, let’s chat parasocial relationships and it’s prevalence within the online book space.
“Why Can’t We Be Friends” by War
First, let’s iron out what parasocial relationships are and how they can manifest. Parasocial relationships refer to one-sided connections in which individuals, “develop illusions of intimacy, friendship, and identification,” (Scholarly Community Encyclopedia). The term was coined by psychological researchers, Donald Horton and R. Richard Wohl, who sought to study the phenomena of people forming attachments to television personalities and fictional characters back in 1956.
Well look at that, relationships between media and consumer has been a topic of debate for decades, and yet we still don’t understand why we all can’t be friends.
From the 1956 study, “Mass Communication and Para-social Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance,” researchers Horton and Wohl explore the action of attachment through the lens of audience and their attachment to personas. The study discusses how attraction to figures in media comes from the, “intimacy with what are literal crowds of strangers,” (Horton & Wohl, pg. 215, 1956). Such intimacy is created by the illusionary relationship where the viewer deems the personas their, “chosen friends; through direct observation and interpretation of his appearance, his gestures and voice, his conversation and conduct in a variety of situations,” (Horton & Wohl, pg. 215, 1956). The phenomena begin within phases, the first being the attachment to the persona. You see, some theorize that parasocial interactions are a common phenomenon because of the provoked feelings from a specific event or celebrity. In the presence of these personas, endorphins rush due to the charisma and charm, thus creating the desire to cling to them emotionally.
Ranging from the influence of television or the global social media presence, we as an audience connect with these various personalities and identities—not solely for the art they produce—due to the features of the persona that brings them joy.
When it comes to literature, it’s an easy gateway for attachments to develop. These stories affords the reader escape from their darkest times, exploration, and much more that’ll stimulate our emotional needs. So the question of parasocial relationships doesn’t solely lie in the attachment itself, but where is the line to be drawn between being an admirer and unhealthy obsession developing. With social media, we’ve seen the boundaries of interaction between persona and audiences become thinner, increased interpersonal conversations, and fan acknowledgments that feed the system of “relationship” development.
Now don’t worry, I’m not here to shame you for the fanning out moment when your favorite author or influencer followed you, liked a post or engaged with you. I’ve been there and I still do a little dance in my seat when it happens.
It’s essential to note social media changed the game when it comes to dynamics between audiences and personas. A study on social media influencers and audience relationships explores how the internet shifted the dynamics from something that was originally impersonal to, “a more interactive and reciprocal one” (Su et al., pg. 13, 2021). Today, we have direct access to our favorite artists, influencers, and public figures with a tap of our fingertips. We’ve shifted from old school diary entries to being able to directly share our thoughts—positive and negative—within vague captions and wild posts. While the access to popular figures has afford both the audiences and personas various benefits, there’s still a dark underbelly to the decision of allowing millions so much access to your personal life.
Sometimes pulling the veil from between the boundaries can result in dastardly effects…
“Caramel” by Sleep Token
Now, before we fall down the rabbit hole of worrying if every interaction is unhealthy, there has been research on how parasocial interactions can be helpful for the audience.
Some researchers theorize that parasocial relationships with celebrities, “are often part of the normal course of adult development in areas of identity, intimacy, and generativity,” because media personas act as, “models to emulate…for the young adult struggling with the crisis of intimacy versus isolation,” (Stever, pg. 1-2, 2010). So, sometimes these connections can be a beautiful thing, but sometimes this isn’t the case. For many, fame and notoriety can become a gilded prison. Parasocial interactions is one of many issues authors face within the Book space, and can dampen the joys of growing their following.
Fandoms and online interaction is a complex nature to examine sometimes, but hopefully we can collectively agree that calling out wild ass shit is a universal experience. As mentioned before, social media has afforded us the retirement of non-interactional engagement and opened the Pandora box of direct access. With the veil between persona and audience become thinner, opportunities where fans can air their grievances, their obsessions, and all things in-between.
When audiences remove the humanity from the personas they cling to, they can avoid having to consider the other parties thoughts, emotions, and privacy—especially when it doesn’t conform to their personal agendas. In the instance of authors, we see this notion that once they reach a phase of fame, they’re to abdicate their personal. Audiences cling to the emotional products of the persona’s art, and to ensure they maintain such, you’ll see them create illusionary worlds where the entertainer is the only aspect of the persona exists. Dehumanizing within the scope of parasocial interactions persist where audiences establish ownership over the personas they’ve attached to and remove the individuals personhood to establish their entertainer as the primary image.
Think of it within the realm of a child with their favorite music box and their constant use of the instrument despite risk of breaking. Said child doesn’t worry of the consequence of winding of the music box too many times, they only want the reward of the plastic performer circling the stage and dancing to the pretty tune. They don’t ask for the music box’s permission or if their comfortable with your behaviors—you simply crank the box, listen to the music, and don’t worry about the issue of its emotional state.
In the words of the legendary André 3000, “Y’all don’t want to hear me, y’all just want to dance.”
Sometimes the love and admiration we hold for the authors can become something soured due to combination of dehumanizing behaviors and unnerving pressures applied.
“Stan” by Eminem
We’ve all heard the horror stories of influencers getting wild DMs from some random calling them a nymphomaniac, or a narrator being sexualized for their performance on an audiobook, or the random yet common experience authors have where readers message them questions about their sex lives and how their stories inspired them.
Wild, right? Sadly friends, this is not a new nor rare occurrence within the online space and can venture pass some random online troll.
However, recently online discourse has arose within the book community regarding social boundaries has instigated authors and readers sharing their experiences with this fever-dream-Lifetime-movie-like behavior. Various authors have utilized their platforms to speak on the various experiences with people breeching said social limits.
Recently, author Evelyn Leigh spoke on the issue of readers taking liberties to share their disdain about the contents of her debut release Elevator Pitch:
Apparently, the audacious attempts to demand the author to receive “feedback” from readers or air their grievances is not a rare occurrence, as many authors have shared the examples of alarming fan correspondence people forced upon them. Then in addition to this, other authors illustrated how these interactions can vary from asshole behavior to truly alarming situations.
During the promotional cycle of Rina Kent’s newest release Kiss The Villain, the discourse surrounding the topic of authors blocking accounts arose spurring fans and authors to speak on the practice of, “blocking to protect themselves,” from the bad eggs.
Author Emily McIntire spoke of a reader going through leaps and bounds to contact her despite being blocked to the point of arising concern:
Other authors echoed similar experiences of their own after McIntire’s post:
Then HD Carlton utilized her platforms on Threads to discuss instances with “fans” that went too far…on various occasions:
The notion that you have the capability to overstep an individual’s boundaries and demand correspondence is one of many ways the audience can at times dehumanize the persona. It’s a wild cycle of abusive behaviors that demonstrate intention is not equal to impact. It can’t get any worse than this, right? Well, it depends on what you think about how parasocial interaction affects peers within the online space.
“Evil Twin” by King Von & Lil Durk
In light of the conversation on people taking things too far, let’s touch on how that intensity can affect everyone. At the swipe of one, you can alter the world’s flow and make people submit at will. When we think of the bandwagon effect that’s infiltrated the online sphere, it’s important to recognize the intersection between parasocial relationships and mob mentalities.
Where is the line drawn? Does the fault lie in the hands of the “leaders” we adorn with crowns? Is it in the hands of influencers who rally their audiences to ride the waves of sensationalism? Or is it simply a malady of the human experience that has methodized in the scope of social media?
At times, grouping yourself within large groups or intimate social circles creates a false sense of kinship and security. The threat of becoming consumed with herd mentality allows for groups to abdicate responsibility and accountability. Trust me when I say, it’s understandable that people fall easily into the practice. Finding yourself consumed with a collective obsession, outrage, or fear strips people of their sense—and while we must not take this as an abdication of responsibility, we should look at how it’s a gateway to mob mentalities.
Recently, it feels like social media and the bookish space is stacked with drama. From online arguments to influencers becoming catalysts for harassment campaigns for their followers, (i.e., a known influencer posting a skit video about a famous author unfollowing her account, spurring followers into an outcry, or an different author rallying her followers to mass report a Black influencer after they posted a skit video about narrators faces not matching their voices). The space so many have called home has become a battlefield of sorts, and I’m pretty sure none of us know how to navigate the warzone. How did the social media climate take such a dark turn, like some shitty Invasion of the Body Snatchers remake?
The power in the collective conscious has been a phenomenon studied for centuries. French philosopher and psychologist Gustave Le Bon spoke of the power of crowds as, “powerful for destruction,” as, “their rule is always tantamount to a barbarian phase,” (Bon, pg. 11, 2023). The collective mind—that Bon refers to as the basis of crowds—forms from the shared, “sentiments and ideas of all persons in gathering take one and the same direction,” where their individual “conscious personality vanishes,” (Bon, pg. 17, 2023). As mutual members of the book community, many with shared goals or similar interests, exhibit behaviors that create a sense of connection amongst themselves and fall into inner circles with mirrored behavior.
Some take on this collective mindset as a byproduct of the parasocial interactions that they find themselves in. As the parasocial interaction continue, people begin to cling to the familiarity in behaving the same to further establish this “bond” that they’ve created. For example, when you see an influencer who voiced their disdain for a certain book or trope, then you’ll see the bandwagon of commenters taking it too far to ensure their notions of kindship can be solidified with said influencer. Or the dynamic where fans of certain maintain a collective message or argument in support of their favorite book—even if any differing views comes from fellow fans and readers.
The book community is an online subgroup that faces situations where we find people participating in the practice called mobbing. Mobbing was coined by the Swedish psychologist, Heinz Leymann, who defined it as the, “systematic and deliberate exposure to hostile and unethical aggressive behavior by an individual or group in the workplace,” and such practices can translate within an online setting (İbiloğlu, pg. 331, 2020). The process of mobbing begins with an, “event or conflict the initiates the process…” with possible motivations of, “interpersonal jealousy, childhood traumas, organizational injustices and uncertainties,” but the main reason for mobbing is, “abusers [have] mostly neurotic, swollen self-perception and extreme controlling personality traits,” (İbiloğlu, pg. 332-333, 2020). In the social media ecosystem, collective consciousness culminates amongst people due to their shared interests of projecting emotional negatives, demonstrating aggressive attacks against another. Crazy deep, right? My jaw was on the ground after researching this.
Now it’s important to note, this behavioral practice is not to be confused with communities demanding accountability. Say it with me class: calling for accountability is not the same as bullying or mobbing. Mobbing is a specific phenomenon where a collective maintains a certain abusive behavior, ranging from harassment or threats of harm, to attack a targeted person or persons. So, when you see someone being held accountable for unhealthy or problematic behaviors, understand people weaponize their ignorance to rationalize their wrongdoings and gain proxy of innocence due to ignorance.
Man the social world is the wild, wild west—and less Will Smith headlining movie, but more Lord of the Files meets Mad Max type of melting pot.
“Higher” by Creed
The formation of parasocial bonding can affect anyone, as it roots from the emotional impact, but when does the love go too far? How can we as a community establish healthy boundaries with the personas we grow to love while affording ourselves room to seek their company?
It’s understandable how parasocial relationships form, because honestly, no one is impervious to the sway of acceptance and community. The thought that someone in this world could understand living or could take the brunt of the pain you face is an alluring dream. As someone who began in the bookish space seeking friendships and hoped to share in the joy of reading, it was easy to fall into circles that felt welcoming and synonymous. However, parasocial relationships within our book community allows for abuse practices to bloom.
Parasocial relationships within the scope of fandoms manifest in many avenues and behaviors. We, as both individuals and as a collective, must establish boundaries within social interactions to ensure harmful cycles do not develop within the spaces we hope to cultivate for community. Recognize when such cycles are forming—both with ourselves, and surrounding us—so that we can de-escalate before the situation can reach irreconciliation. This article is merely the tip of the iceberg in regards to how our community is affected with such interactions but hopefully, it can be the start of many conversations needed for the space to grow.
Reference:
Bon, G. L. (2023). The Crowd & The Psychology of Revolution: Two Classics on Understanding the Mob Mentality and Its Motivations [E-Book]. Digi-Cat.
746. https://scholarship.law.vanderbilt.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1128&context=jetlaw
Horton, D., & Wohl, R. (1956). Mass Communication and Para-social Interaction: Observations on Intimacy at a Distance. Psychiatry, 19, 215–229. Retrieved April 12, 2025, from http://visual-memory.co.uk/daniel/Documents/short/horton_and_wohl_1956.html
İbiloğlu, A. O. (2020). Mobbing (Psychological Violence) in Different Aspects. Current Approaches in Psychiatry, 12(3), 330–341. https://doi.org/10.18863/pgy.543354
Parasocial Relationships. (2022, November 24). Scholarly Community Encyclopedia. Retrieved April 12, 2025, from https://encyclopedia.pub/entry/36306#:~:text=In%201956%2C%20the%20term%20parasocial,of%20research%20on%20parasocial%20phenomena.
Stever, G. S. (2010). Fan Behavior and Lifespan Development Theory: Explaining Para-social and Social Attachment to Celebrities. Fan Behavior and Lifespan Development Theory, 18, 1–7.
Su, B.-C., Wu, L.-W., Chang, Y.-Y.-C., & Hong, R.-H. (2021). Influencers on Social Media as References: Understanding the Importance of Parasocial Relationships. Sustainability, 13, 1–19.